


Fool me once, twice, an eternity more

by daeneryssed



Series: confessa's widojest week 2020 cornucopia [5]
Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Alternate Universe, F/M, Humor, Light-Hearted, Widojest Week
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-10
Updated: 2020-07-10
Packaged: 2021-03-05 04:34:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,205
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25178503
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/daeneryssed/pseuds/daeneryssed
Summary: Jester tries to trick the famed wizard Caleb Widogast into thinking she's a wizard too. She thinks she's doing a very good job.[prompt 5: Teaching Spells OR Anything Spell/Magic-Related]
Relationships: Jester Lavorre/Caleb Widogast
Series: confessa's widojest week 2020 cornucopia [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1820233
Comments: 14
Kudos: 68
Collections: Widojest Week 2020





	Fool me once, twice, an eternity more

Caleb Widogast was a very famous wizard. He resided at Tidepeak, a beautiful wizard’s tower that rose out of the Open Quay in Nicodranas, its walls glittering green and its magical appearance always a wonder to passersby - up close, it rose hundreds of feet into the air; move further away, and it shrank unnaturally into the surrounding skyline. There were no doors, windows that shifted location everyday, and a very cute Bengal cat that always lazed at the foot of the tower.

A very cute Bengal cat that Jester was now petting. 

“You are the _cutest_ thing, aren’t you?” she cooed. The cat turned on his bellow, paws up in the air and purring contentedly as Jester pet him. “Do you belong to Caleb Widogast? Do you know a way into this tower?”

The cat blinked twice at Jester with unsettling intelligence, as if to say yes to each question. Jester sat back on her heels, her own tail flicking like the cat’s as she pondered how to get into the tower. She had a mission and she was determined to complete it. 

“Maybe I should just knock,” she thought out loud to herself. It seemed the most straightforward solution. She had walked around the tower base multiple times and there was definitely no door. “Wish me luck,” she told the cat. The cat blinked at her again. 

Walking right up to the tower, the dark flecks in the emerald stone glittering in the afternoon sun, Jester rapped on the wall smartly. It hurt a little and she wasn’t sure if anyone heard her, but she was proud of herself for taking the first step. So many people were apprehensive of this tower. She would prove them wrong. 

Jester waited patiently for five seconds before trying again. And again. She walked two circles around the tower once more just to make sure a door hadn’t appeared before trying a third time. 

_Knock! Knock! Knock!_

She waited ten seconds this time. Still nothing. 

Jester looked up. The lowest window was sixty feet up. She considered changing herself into a bird to fly in, but that would hardly leave the best first impression. She was here to make friends. 

“Oh well,” she said, turning back to the cat, “I guess I’ll come back another day.”

As she faced the cat once more, Jester swore the cat’s amber eyes were a striking shade of blue. One blink and it was back to its usual colour. Weird. Must have been a reflection of the sky. Already thinking about buying a batch of pastries on the way back home, Jester forgot about it. She would be back another day. 

She was back the next day. 

She repeated the process.

Again, no response. Only the cat watched her. This time, the cat sat upright, its eyes gleaming with a preternatural intelligence. Jester wondered if it was a normal cat. Maybe it was magical too. 

“Are you magical?” she asked the cat. “Can you tell the wizard to let me in? I just want to talk. He doesn’t have to be so, you know, _anti-social_.”

The cat only blinked at her. 

Jester came back a third time. Fourth. Fifth. 

On the sixth day, as she moved to rap on the wall once more, her knuckles met not stone wall, but wood. Jester gasped. A door had appeared right in front of her. 

“You are a very persistent person,” she heard a person speak. Male. Zemnian, like those visitors that sometimes came from the Empire. Jester floundered for a moment to pinpoint the source of the voice, which seemed to come from all directions. She even checked the cat to see if he was speaking. “No, Frumpkin is not a talking cat,” the voice said. “Look up.”

Not fifteen feet above Jester, a balcony had magically appeared, and standing on it was a man in long flowing black robes with reddish-brown hair hanging down to his shoulders. He was looking down at her with a bemused expression. 

“Hello!” she greeted. 

“Hello,” he replied. 

“Are you going to let me in?”

“I have just met you,” he said. 

“Oh hi, I’m Jester,” she said, berating herself for forgetting her manners. She stretched her arm out towards him and mimed a handshake. He only stared at her with the same bemused expression. 

“Hello, I’m Caleb Widogast.”

“I know! So...are you going to let me in?”

The wizard stared at her for a few seconds more before he finally gave a nod. The door creaked open. When Jester looked back up, the balcony was gone. 

The door opened up to a small landing area, sparsely decorated with a few side-tables, a carpet and a set of chairs where she supposed visitors could wait. Jester was too excited to sit. She bounced on the heels of her feet, tail swishing to and fro, her insides twisting and coiling with nervous energy. The cat - Frumpkin, Caleb had called him - had followed her inside and settled into one of the chairs. 

After what seemed like an eternity, footsteps began to sound from the direction of the spiral staircase at the opposite end of the room and Caleb soon stepped into view. 

“Hi!” she greeted again, clapping her hands together happily as he descended the stairs. “I’m so excited to finally meet you!”

“Ja, hello,” he said. He came up to her but stopped a good ten feet away. “Can I help you?”

“Well. The thing is, _I_ am actually here to help _you._ ” 

One of Caleb’s eyebrows slowly raised. “Is that so?” he asked, his tone slightly sardonic. “Is that why you have been knocking on the wall of my tower every day for the past week?”

“So you _were_ in!”

“Yes. I only see people by appointment.”

“Well, I am making an appointment now,” said Jester airily, flicking her hair. “The thing is, you see, I am a _wizard_ too. A very powerful one. And I think I can teach you some very powerful spells. Wizards are all about learning new spells right. I have these _very special spells_.”

The wizard stared at her, his eyes scrunched together like he was trying to scrutinise and parse through her words. Jester stared back. The key to tricking people was confidence. Waver and they could see right through you.

“All right, and what do you want in return for teaching me these spells?” asked Caleb. 

Jester had to stop herself from punching the air in victory. “How about pastries?”

“Pastries?”

“Yeah! Pastries. You see, Caleb, you are in luck because I am a _very_ generous person. I don’t require anything special. But if you can get me pastries from all over the world I will definitely be _very happy_.”

Caleb’s dour expression flickered as the corners of his mouth tugged up into a small smile. The muscles on his face flexed like he was trying to contain his own grin. It was a nice sight. It made him look mischievous, like he could be playing a trick too.

“All right,” he finally said after it looked like he got his expression under control. “I will get you pastries and you can teach me these spells. You can come to my tower every Yulisen, at 5.30 in the evening, sharp. I have a very tight schedule.”

“I want the best pastries. With cinnamon.”

“I will get you an endless supply of cinnamon, Miss Lavorre,” he said. Her name on his accented tongue sent a weird little shiver up her spine. “Now, good day and goodbye.”

Caleb kept his end of the deal. Every Yulisen, Jester knocked on the tower wall, a magic door appeared and she would be brought in by his assistant, a cute halfling named Veth. She would walk up the stairs and through another door and be magically teleported to a study. It would be on a different floor each time: one time a hundred feet in the air, overlooking the Lucidian Ocean; the other, fifty feet or so off the ground with a view of the city. Once, it was high in the clouds, surrounded by white cotton fluff. Every time, she would gasp and clap her hands in joy. 

“He never used to do that,” Veth remarked to her one day, a curious expression on her face. “He’s always in his books the whole time, you know how he is. Always just looking to discuss spells and arcane stuff and magic. It’s nice to see him playful.”

“Well, I’m here to do _serious business_ ,” replied Jester. “I hate to say it, but he’s not learning very well.”

The learning part was the best part of the evening. Jester would come up with the most ridiculous runes in preparation for each of their study dates - sessions. Caleb would spend the hour methodically learning the runes that she presented. 

“You draw it like this?” Caleb repeated after her, fingers tracing the supposed runes she had drawn. 

Jester fought hard to stifle her snort. He was essentially tracing a dick. He didn’t seem to notice though. His eyes were focused intensely on her fingers, teeth gnawing at his lower lip in concentration. Jester almost felt bad. 

Almost. 

“Yup,” she said, popping the ‘p’. “That is _exactly_ how you do it Caleb.” 

“I will try then,” he said, nodding. “Thank you for teaching me. This is certainly a unique spell.”

“Oh, you don’t have to thank me, _Cayleb_ , I am _all_ about sharing.”

A more perceptive person might have caught the sarcasm. Caleb Widogast clearly didn’t. He only nodded absent-mindedly and began to scribble down the rune drawings. Jester had to turn away to stop herself from laughing. Did he not _see_ the dick hidden amongst the runes? 

“Have you been able to cast the other spells I taught you?”

“Not yet…” said Caleb, teeth biting at his lower lip. He frowned. “I usually learn spells very quickly. It is most curious that I have not been able to cast these.” 

“Well, keep at it, Caleb,” she said. “I’m sure you will get at it. Not everyone is able to learn such difficult spells.”

Caleb nodded along as she spoke. “Indeed. Miss Lavorre, you are exceptionally talented. On top of being charming and funny. You are quite the package.”

If Jester didn’t know any better, she would say he was flirting with her. The Traveler certainly seemed to think so, teasing her about it later that night. It certainly seemed like a line that could fit in the multitude of trashy romance (porn, Beauregard told her, “it’s porn, Jester”) novels that she read every day. Still, she had learned from previous experiences that real life wasn’t really like that. He was probably just complimenting her in his unique Zemnian way. Anyway, he wasn’t, like, saying the words with passion or a teasing smirk or with his shirt half-unbuttoned (the thought made her cheeks warm and she quickly waved it away). 

In the meantime, she got to continue playing a trick on the supposed smartest but definitely the most boring wizard in town who either never spoke or when he did, only ever talked about his cat and his magic - and also about _her_ and her art store and the things she liked to do - _while_ she ate the best pastries _ever_. It was a win-win. 

“Like this?” Caleb asked, fingers dragging the chalk the way she was gesturing. 

“Exactly. You are really good, Caleb!”

“I learn from the best.”

Jester felt her cheeks warm. He kept saying things like that. Telling her she was charming and humorous and full of life and, after she had shown him her sketchbook, how talented and skilled and hardworking she was. He had even commissioned her to make a painting for him and promised to stop by her store as soon as he was able. It was getting really like in the romance (“ _porn, Jessie_ ”) books and that was really very confusing. 

The soft chime of a bell tinkled from the hallway outside. 

“Oh, I need to collect something,” said Caleb, looking up. “I ordered some rare components. I will be right back.”

Jester sat back on her haunches, watching him go (he had a cute butt underneath that coat). As soon as the door closed behind him, the Traveler appeared beside her. “Jester,” he began, “truly, a person cannot be so blind to the sheer number of dick drawings that you are making. This is already, what, the sixth time you are visiting him?”

“Well, to be fair, we didn’t draw any runes the other time. And there was one week I ate so much of the pastries that I fell asleep.”

“That is something else I need to talk to you about.” The Traveler floated to her side. His smile was sly. “You are having quite a few dates with this man. Are you sure you don’t like him? I’m pretty sure he’s half in love with you.”

“That. Is. Ridiculous. Caleb Widogast is not in love with me.”

“Yes, he is.”

“No, he is not.”

“Yes, he _is._ ”

“No, he is _not_.”

“Who were you talking to?”

Jester was sure she jumped three feet off the ground. “No one!” she shrieked, whipping around to face Caleb, who was now back in the room with a bag of...corn in one hand? 

“Really, no one?” said Caleb, one eyebrow raised. He deposited the bag on a table and a few cobs of corn fell out. “Not your god?”

Jester blinked. Her brain missed a few links there. “My god? What do you mean?” 

“Yes, your god. I assume you have one you believe in, as that would explain your divine powers.”

This conversation was getting _really_ weird. “I don’t know what you are talking about,” she said innocently, even as the threads of her reality began to unravel. “I don’t have a god- Wait. Divine powers?”

“Yes, that _is_ how you have your powers, right?”

Jester tried to process what he was saying. It was fine. She could do it. She could- “Wait. Wait, wait, wait. You knew I wasn’t a wizard?”

Caleb gave her a withering look. “Jester, of course I knew you were not a wizard. You knew nothing of the arcane arts.”

“But- but you copied my runes!”

“You mean the nonsense drawings that were just hiding dicks.”

“You _saw_ the dicks?”

“Jester. Yes, I saw the dicks.”

Jester staggered back. This was impossible. Preposterous. It couldn’t be. Her mind reeled from the reveal that she had, after all this time, not been tricking him at all. That- that _he_ had been tricking her. Caleb Widogast, the most boring, asinine person in Nicodranas, had been tricking _her_. 

“I can’t believe it,” she whispered, hands coming up to grab at the sides of her face. “I’m the worst follower of the Traveler ever.”

“What? Why would you say that?” asked Caleb, looking perturbed. 

“I got tricked by _you_! You’re, like, the most boring person ever.”

Of all the reactions Jester expected from Caleb, it was not that he would laugh. But laugh he did, his mouth drawing wide in a smile as he chuckled in disbelief at her. It...it transformed his face. He looked so much less stern, so much more youthful. 

“Wow…”

“What?”

“You laughed.”

“Yes, I do that.”

“I have just never seen it before.”

“You need to be funnier then.”

Jester gave him a faux-glare. 

“Have you really thought me boring this whole time?” said Caleb, looking a little amused but also a little hurt. 

“No, I don’t really think you are boring,” she said sincerely. “I really do like hearing you talk about cats and spells and how magic works for an hour each week.”

“I do not talk for an hour each week. Also, I cannot tell if you are being sarcastic.”

Jester gave him a toothy grin, fangs extended. “At least I’m not completely an open book.”

Which just brought Jester’s mind back to what had transpired the past month. It was _so stupid_ , in hindsight. Why hadn’t she thought that he would know what she was doing? Of course he would know. He was the smartest wizard in town. It’s just- she had expected him to call her out, because of course he would have, he wasn’t someone who had _fun_ , so if he wasn’t calling her out then surely it was because he didn’t _know_ what she was doing. He would just let her keep coming back, spending time drawing stupid, dick runes with her. 

She was so _stupid_. 

“Why didn’t you say anything?” she cried out, voice accusatory. Caleb’s cheeks flushed, as if embarrassed, and he averted his gaze, one hand scratching the back of his neck. She waited a few seconds for an answer and not getting one, she rounded on the rest of the room. Looking at nothing in particular but directing her question at the Traveler, she called out: “Why didn’t _you_ say anything?”

The Traveler appeared at the corner of the room, presence sudden as always. His lips were drawn wide in a mischievous grin. “Oh Jester,” he said, the humour in his voice apparent, “because it was _funny_. I _did_ try to hint to you today.” 

“I assume that you are speaking to your god,” Caleb piped up. 

“Yes, of course, he is the Traveler. He is _so cool_.”

“Right.”

“So you were tricking me. Did you have fun? Did you laugh at me every time I left?” The questions were shot out at him in rapid succession. Is that why he had let her come back? He was laughing at the fool she was? 

“A little…” admitted Caleb. Jester’s stomach dropped. Caleb immediately appeared to backtrack, his cheeks turning pink again. “I mean, it wasn’t the reason I didn’t tell you. Not the sole reason, at least. That would be mean of me.”

“You should have put me out of my misery.”

“Well, I enjoyed your companionship.” The words were spoken stiffly, as if it took effort to say them - Jester might have mistaken it for a lie, if she had not gotten to know him, and if it had not been for the fact that his entire face was turning red. 

Jester opened her mouth. Then shut it. _He’s half in love with you_ , the Traveler had said. 

Suddenly, the room was lacking a whole lot of oxygen and it was getting hard to breathe. 

“Thank you, Caleb,” she said genuinely, after a few seconds of trying and failing to get the words out. “I really enjoy your companionship too. And I am _super_ proud of you, for like, _tricking_ me, because that is _super hard_.”

Caleb huffed out a small laugh. “I am better at lying than you think, Jester.”

“Well, you better stay on your toes, because I am going to up my game. This was only the beginning.”

Though his gaze was still sheepish, Caleb’s expression at her words turned immeasurably fond. It made the back of her neck very hot. “I look forward to it, blueberry,” he said softly. 

Her stomach doing flip-flops, Jester could only nod. Words would come later, along with many, many more tricks.

  
  



End file.
